I just got back from a late night walk. Walking around an urban environment alone, late at night, is not a good idea, but I find myself doing it quite often. Tonight, as I left my apartment, I thought, “should I go back and get my drivers license, just in case anything should happen to me”. By “anything”, I was thinking homicide or a brutal beating. Surely having my license on me would make the jobs of the police officers who have to deal with the crime scene that much easier. Initially I wrote it off as a morbid, yet considerate thought. However, as I made my way down the streeet I found myself in a situation that made me think it might be prophetic. About a hundred feet ahead of me two males were trying to break into a car. These were the same two men I noticed five minutes earlier snooping around a car as I took out the trash. As I approached them, I got nervous. I got real nervous. It was a kind of nervous I’ve only felt one other time in my life.
About 8 years ago I was living in Lawrence, Kansas. Even back then I had a tendency to go walking at night. One night I was walking around when one of a group of three guys sitting on a porch called me a cracker. I gave them no acknowledgment and kept walking. I then heard one of them say, “Let’s go get him”. At this, I turned the corner, quickened my pace, and started heading home. I then heard footsteps behind me. As the footsteps behind me got closer, I noticed someone keeping pace with me in the alley behind a row of houses. Then I noticed someone on the other side of the street. This was when I first felt that sense of nervousness. I walked another block until the footsteps behind me were too close to tolerate. I turned around and said, “What do you want?” The guy sized me up. I said, “If we’re going to do this, let’s do this”. He said, “I’m not trying to do anything”. I replied, “If you’re not trying to do anything, then why are you following me and why are your boys from across the street and in the alley trying to close in on me”. At this point, the guy from the alley and the guy from across the street had closed their distance and were about ten feet from me. I wanted to let them know that I could trace them back to a very specific location, which was probably their place of residence so I said, “You three have been following me since you yelled at me from the porch of the house on 14th and Kentucky, so if you were planning to do something now is the time”. This was met with silence, until one of them said, “We just wanted to know where the girls are at”. I didn’t know what their plans were, but I knew they weren’t following me to find some ladies. This response kind of pissed me off, so I snidely said, “It’s three in the morning. I’m walking by myself. Do you think I know where the girls are? I’m going home, and would appreciate it if you didn’t follow me”. With that I stood there and watched them walk down the street, then I sprinted home.
This same nervous feeling rose in me tonight as one of the would be robbers became aware of my presence. Immediately he began walking towards me. As I passed him, he said, “This must be the wrong street”. His partner, still trying to pick the car’s lock said, “What?”, as he turned and spotted me. “Oh yeah. It must be the next block”, he replied. He quickly moved past me and down the street with his partner. I walked a few steps further, into an area with more lighting, and turned around to make sure they weren’t going to continue messing with cars on my street.
Neither of these instances were life and death, but in the moment they felt as if they could be. I felt as if I could become a victim and that made me nervous to the point that it spawned a weird confidence. I wasn’t scared. I was ready to handle whatever the situation could throw at me. In Lawrence, that meant confronting those who were making me uncomfortable. Tonight, it meant ensuring the two thiefs knew they were being watched. It’s odd, but it’s a feeling I really enjoy. I like the confidence. It makes me want to put myself in different (preferably not so threatening) situations where I am vulnerable, just to see how I respond. However, the next time I get the feeling I should take my ID with me on a late night walk, I’ll probably stay home instead.
I’m not sure you want to be known as the the dead guy who didn’t know where the girls were at.
But on a serious note, thanks for keeping the Trannyville streets safe, if only for a block. Those she-brahs/he-gals have to park somewhere.